ANN Tamashii no Radio - Love & Sex Clinic: Part 2
Kyumei Byoto 24 Ji (Emergency Room 24 hours) Fukuyama Clinic
It’s Midsummer, and our dangerous Doctor Fukuyama’s Clinic is open. Today our Clinic Chief and Deputy Clinic Chief are once again surrounded by troubled young people. And even though the two of them would still get noisy and excited over expressions like “standing ovation”……..the Chief and Deputy Chief are after all grown-ups who have welcomed their 40th year. Using their wealth of experience, they are here to guide our youngsters to find the solution to their problems.
So today, in the season of love and sex, many a troubled patient has come to the clinic.
[Case No. 3]
“For 3 years, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend who is 9 years older than me. But I’ve never once felt bored with his H! I think that’s because we talk to each other. Whenever I experience pain, the moment he says ‘Your expression is so cute’, I feel I can keep going on! And when he approaches climax, we’d both feel our fires burning.” (Saitama Prefecture, 19 years old Miu)
Occasionally, we’d get these types of “want to brag about your love?” patients, but there is an important healing point here.
S: “Pain? What have you two been doing? What have you done to get so much pain?”
F: “It’s one thing to feel comfortable, but to get only the pain……Although there are people who like to experience pain, but there should be a limit to everything.”
What the Clinic Chief is trying to say is that even when there are times of “It’s painful but comfortable” (Kiss Shite lyrics), we must take note that we don’t cross the line here. Maybe you are not yet aware that you are sick, so please come knock on our clinic doors even when you’re feeling relaxed and cheerful.
[Case No. 4]
“My friend and I are sending messages to each other as we listen to the stories of the clinic. We both strongly agree that Masha-sensei stands on the side of us girls! Masha is really a wonderful monarch!” (Hokkaido, Sayu High School Year 2)
Seems like there’s no trouble here. But because he felt like it, our Chief Masha still gave out the following counsel to his people.
F: First and foremost, you’ve got to be gentle. You’d wish the same for yourself, wouldn’t you? Because I’ll start wondering ‘What have you done with your men before?’ and so on, I wouldn’t like to be treated too violently!”
S: “I’ve had that before, like ‘Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!’”
F: “ Well, I’d say it out if I feel pain! I’d say ‘Painful! Painful! Painful!’”
Whether you’re a man or a woman, the most important thing is to let your partner feel your love, and then honestly tell them your thoughts! If you didn’t like it, if it was painful, if you felt happy, by being frank and open, our Chief Doctor feels that would bring you deeper into your partner’s heart.
~ Extract from ANN TamaRadi Blog 2009.07.22 ~
F: “I can no longer be called Chiinii-chan, ChiiOji-chan is more like it now….”
Starting last week’s programme with such a sorrowful statement, this Oji-chan continued to answer questions from our young listeners’ perspective as his “Dangerous Doctor Fukuyama Love & Sex Clinic” is still open for business.
[Case No. 5]
“Good evening. I’m a foreign student studying in Tokyo. I have an ex-boyfriend whom I’d dated for 6 years. We stayed in touch and he is now one of the most important friends I have in my life. He would call me up at midnight on my birthday, play and sing my favorite songs on the piano for me, lend me his shoulder when I need to cry, we’d counsel and advice each other when we have new partners. We have a good trusting relationship and we know all about the other’s experiences in love.
Not long ago, he confessed his love to me again. But to me, he is really just a good friend. If we got together again, I fear we’d end up losing our friendship even. Is it so strange to be just friends after we’ve been lovers? Does Masha believe in friendship between men and women? I’m so distressed I can’t sleep.” (Pinkymiji-san)
F: “I’m not particularly interested in friendships between men and women.”
S: “Said like a true carnivore!”
F: “I used to be nicknamed the ‘Nagasaki Tyrannosaur’. I can understand maintaining a friendship with people we’ve dated before, but to start off as friends only…..I don’t see the need to do this intentionally. I’m on a very tight schedule. I don’t have the luxury of time to purposely go out for dinner with a woman who does not appeal to me at all!!”
Treasuring every minute of his time, Chief Doctor Fukuyama feels he needs no association with bittersweet relationships like “friendships between men and women”. Added to a jealous disposition, we have this childish attitude as a result. We apologise on his behalf. However, as a primitive carnivorous male, our Chief has always maintained this opinion of his, and it has been unchanged all these years.
F: “We men are creatures who…..just want to do it. Even as old granddads, we’d be happy old granddads. We’d still be watering flowers on a withering tree!”
Asserting that men, more or less, have within them an ulterior motive. But in Pinkymiji-san’s case, they had already dated before. So, considering the possibility of friendship under such circumstances, he gave the following advice:
F: “With regard to his confession, you should be giving an unambiguous reply. Something like ‘I cannot have that kind of relationship with you any more’. And if he should get angry at that? Then that’s it, you should call it quits. New love, new friends. It’s going to be alright, it’s really going to be fine. There are many good people in Tokyo.”
Try your best to open up your heart, and if your message cannot get through anyhow….then it’s not a bad option to shake it off and go look for new opportunities. On the otherhand, there is no need for you to lose sleep over this matter (^^)y
[Case No. 6]
“I have a very urgent matter to discuss with you! Two days ago, I went to a girlfriend’s house for a drinks party. My friend’s ex-boyfriend and his friend were also there. So our 2 women:2 men group, decided to stay the night after the drinks. My friend and I slept on the bed, while the ex-boyfriend and his friend settled down on the floor. In the middle of the night, I woke up to find my friend’s ex next to me, and my friend on the floor. She seemed to be having a great time with ex-boyfriend’s friend and the two of us on the bed silently started our own business. It turned out to be really good. When morning came, my friend and I faced each other as if nothing had happened, but I still felt a bit embarrassed. Can we really continue with this physical relationship?…..I’m feeling very uneasy because we’re going to hold another (drinking party) at home next week…..” (Tokyo Izumi)
Because of the arrival of such a complex emergency case, question marks appeared all over our Chief Doctor’s head….….
F: “Wait a minute? Who did it with who? Her own ex with her friend?”
S: “No, doctor. Let me explain to you. Izumi-chan and her female friend were sleeping. And the 2 men slept on the floor.”
F: “And what was the connection between the 2 men?”
S: “Friend’s ex-boyfriend and someone she doesn’t know! Normal friends!”
F: “Izumi-chan’s friend and……..”
S: “Doctor, doctor, don’t you think you’re being a bit thick?”
F: “The man she doesn’t know! That man, who is it? The friend’s……the friend’s…….? Who did the ex sleep with?” (By this time, Clinic Chief Fukuyama was already bowled over with laughter.)
S: “I don’t know! It wasn’t even written down! Don’t know!” (And the Deputy Chief Souguchi has also given up his attempt to enlighten the Chief.)
F: “I’m so sorry…….Gomen! Obara-kun*! Just a minute Obara-kun, come and help me sort this out!”
I’m sure everyone else except Fukuyama-san already knows what it’s all about. That is, Izumi-chan started a relationship with her friend’s ex-boyfriend! That’s all there is to it. The same people were going to get together again in the following week……and it’ll be at home again! What is she going to do? This was the email of distress. Finally getting it, Chief Fukuyama said:
F: “That fellow just eats anything….”
After exclaiming his admiration at the omnivore,
F: “I get it! I get why I couldn’t get it! (sweat) I think, ‘Do whatever you want?’ (laugh) If you don’t like it, you should say no! Doesn’t it imply ‘let’s do it again’?” (referring to the second gathering)
S: “Perhaps Izumi-chan is the type who doesn’t know how to say no, and then ends up being dragged along.”
F: “Then she’ll have to insist on not going! She mustn’t go!”
Of course, if you’re looking forward to it, then that’s fine. But if you’re really feeling very uneasy about it, then don’t go! That’s what he is advising. If you’re feeling embarrassed and worried, then don’t let yourself get led along by the mood! （・×・）
~ Extract from ANN TamaRadi Blog 28.07.2009 ~
* Obara Shinji (小原信治) is the broadcast writer for a number of ANN shows, including Masha’s Tamashii no Radio. He is also a screenwriter, involved in many TV and live programmes, including the Fukuyama Engineering series and many of Masha’s Daikanshsai concerts.