ANN Tamashii no Radio - Love & Sex Clinic: Part 4
The Fukuyama Love & Sex Clinic
“Can we go on this way…..?”
“What should I do at times like this?”
Troubles and anxiety once again seem to flood the minds of the TamaRadi citizens. Worries about the future, about friends, about family………and then about sex and love. As the monarch of the TamaRadi kingdom, Fukuyama-san took a look at the situation and said “We must do something about it!” And so started to think of ways to take away all these worries and anxieties of his people. Then considering his own area of expertise, he set up this specialist clinic – the Fukuyama Love & Sex Clinic.
The Deputy Clinic Chief, with a slightly different sub-species of love experiences, is Souguchi-san. The Summer season brings hordes of patients to the clinic. Tonight, as usual, there is a long queue of troubled little lambs waiting for help.
“I’d break out in goose pimples the moment someone touches my body. It follows that when I’m ‘doing it’, I’d have goose pimples all over too….But that’s rather insulting to my partner, isn’t it? What can I do? (Ai-san)
F: “Can I speak frankly? At times like that, it can be very arousing (actual words: the crest will rise.)”
S: “For me, I don’t really dislike having that reaction.”
Here comes our Deputy Chief’s special interests again. And Clinic Chief Fukuyama started talking about himself too.
F: “To be honest, I don’t enjoy being touched so much. I’d howl like a cat.”
S: “You’d make sounds like Elmo, right? (Sesame Street) But some women like to lick too, don’t they?”
F: “Well they don’t mean it in a bad way. They do it because they think it’s probably very comfortable. (laugh) Also, the way of touching makes a big difference. You wouldn’t be able to take light fingering, would you? Maybe direct caressing would be fine.”
S: “But you just can’t say “Please press a bit harder”, can you? You’re not in a massage parlour.”
F: “I say, if he isn’t even able to take such (response), then there’s no need to go out with him. There is no point doing it with someone who is so narrow-minded. Didn’t I say before that I’d accept hemorrhoids (in his woman)? This means I’ll embrace both your past and future sores (hemorrhoids)! If your partner cannot even take this, then there is no need to be with him.”
Just like his famous past saying “embrace the hemorrhoids”, the crucial thing about being in a relationship is to find someone who can accept everything about you. And since there are men like deputy Chief Souguchi-san who “don’t dislike that type of reaction”, you should try to relax yourself first.
“The people around me have all lost their virginity. I’m still a virgin at 20. Perhaps I should just let some guy get it done….? (Meena-san, Kagoshima Prefecture)
F: “Can I speak frankly? How can you just get it done like that?”
S: “It does have its appeal.”
F: “When you reach our age, you won’t get anything done. First, when should you lose your virginity…..this statement in itself is highly questionable, isn’t it? (Response from the radio staff “Around 15 or 16 years old”.) 15?! Isn’t that bad for the body? Didn’t they say that bunny jumps are bad for the body too? I think they’re both as dangerous, don’t you?”
So after that, he decided to survey young people’s views on the matter…..he asked the young 26-year-old male AD on the TamaRadi staff for his opinion. (The answer “Most welcome!”) Then he asked the female staff, and finally came out with this conclusion.
F: “Then you should try having a relationship with someone older than you. If you go out with a younger person, you might end up getting them done instead. When I was around 18, I always had the impression of older women being like a thousand-handed goddess of mercy. They can guide you. Like a car navigation system for sex! Now that I’ve reached my age, I can bring Meena-chan safely to her destination myself.”
S: “You’ll be taking detours.”
F: “I will not take any detours! I’ll even investigate thoroughly where there is traffic congestion, so I can lead her there in the speediest way …………. This indirect way of speaking smells like a stinking Ossan (middle-aged bloke).”
And having reached the point where they had to reflect back on their Ossan way of talk, the Chief and Deputy Chief…… finally picked themselves up to greet the next patient.
“A few days ago, when I was drying the hair under with a dryer, I found it laced with white hair! But I’m only in my twenties ……. I’m totally shocked.” (Chack-san, Osaka Prefecture)
“Do you need to blow dry the hair under?” After some moments of excitement, the Clinic Chief said frankly
F: “Next time you find it, pluck it out.”
Such a short simple answer! If you don’t like it, pull it out. And a similar thing seemed to happen to our monarch in his 40th year.
F: “I have it too! Near the scrotum. In the nose. A bit of white hair is quite natural.”
S: “Could he have been using the hair dryer too much?”
F: “Yeah, if you use the hairdryer every day, you’ll blow the pigments away. Come on already! It’s probably not so good to pull it out, so why don’t you cut it short instead.”
S: “What a precise piece of advice. Do you cut it?”
F: “I just keep it. Hey, it’s the 20th anniversary. As evidence that I am myself, I just leave it to keep growing.”
If you really can’t stand it, then cut it short so it’s not visible anymore, but if you want evidence of your history and your life, then perhaps you can save it like the Chief.
Our troubled listeners have formed an endless queue at the Fukuyama clinic. And having converted the clinic into a Kyumei Byoto (Emergency Room), our Chief Doctor and Deputy Chief are still working hard even after 24:00.
“My breasts are too big. They’re becoming a problem for me. I really don’t want to show them out….” (Chiba Prefecture, Juri 14 years old)
With regard to this problem, in order to undertake a more detailed investigation, they decided to carry out personal counselling! So they called up to get some answers.
F: “What’s your cup size?”
J: “Although it was F all along, it recently reached G.”
F: “How tall are you?”
J: “164 cm.”
F: “………not a problem at all.”
Not to mention the Chief, many of our listeners seem to be crying out enviously “I wish…”, right?
And the evidence is
S: “Will you get occasional second looks?”
F: “Yes! That’s me!”
S: “People who don’t care how you feel and just stare at you.”
F: “YesYesY-es! That’s me!”
Our Chief is that enthusiastic……
F: “From our angle, it’s a perfect figure but some people would think of it as a burden. Especially the younger generation.…..but Juri-chan, Masha thinks it’s great.”
S: “So does the Deputy Chief.”
F: “A young 14 year old girl who plays the violin and is G-cup indeed. To us, that is the ideal daughter.”
There really are people who like it so much. And after verification, he decided to give her some useful and practical advice. Using the female staff in Team Fukuyama’s recording company as an illustration, he suggested ways of making a big bosom look otherwise.
F: “(According to the staff) Don’t wear tight clothes. Choose those which are flowing and not heavy, and not cutting close to the waist. So Juri-chan should dress this way, even your school uniform should be one size bigger. As long as the garment is wide enough, it’s OK, just tailor the sleeves a bit.”
How come he can give such precise suggestions? Because our Chief Fukuyama is one of those with a similar predicament.
F: “Actually, Masha has the problem of a huge bust as well…..I need to re-tailor all my shirts. Otherwise I’ll need to unbutton all my shirts like a Hollywood star strutting down the red carpet. Usually we buy clothes according to the length of the sleeves and width of the shoulders, but for me that would make the entire trunk tight and stiff. So the best way is to gauge it according to the body first, then alter the sleeves and shoulders.”
So the Chief Doctor has the same problem as our patient, hence is able to provide such details in your solution. But the Chief still wants to say something to her
F: “Though you may think of it as a problem now, but in the future this is going to be one of Juri-chan’s strongest weapons.”
That’s it. A nuisance now, but with the right timing and opportunity, it can become a merit for you.
~ Extract from ANN TamaRadi Blog 2009.08.18 and 2009.08.19 ~
Translated from sunnydolphin’s blog 1 and 2
Original blog posted on ANN TamaRadi Blog 2009-08-18 and 2009-08-19
This English translation was first posted on MashaPlus [dot] Info Forums. (Registration required to enter.)