Anan Magazine (2009.12.23) #1689: Part 2
Continued from Part 1
I am the type that will never be able to say to someone “let’s get married!”.
It doesn’t matter at what age, being in love is a necessity.
Although it is different from those deliberate “sweet talks” (to please someone) in social relationships, sometimes we do see the situation where “the one who speaks out first would win” in a love relationship, right?
If a person to whom you have no feeling towards suddenly says, “let’s go out for dinner” or “let’s get married”, I think most people would start liking that other person, more or less.
Of course, this wouldn’t apply if you already dislike that other person from the beginning.
The point here is not that you really want to marry that person, but you are touched by the fact that someone loves you to the extent that he/she wants to marry you.
“Gosh! I didn’t realise he/she loves me so much!!” you would exclaim.
It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, if you could say “let’s get married” to someone, it is really great! (laugh).
If someone says to you “I like (love) you” many times, you would feel you need to respond to it, right? However I am not the type that is able to speak this out. I do want to say this out to my heart’s content but I just can’t. Sorry! (laugh)
However, please let me make a statement: “it’s me who want to be like that!” (Laugh)
If I can say this out easily, there is no reason for me to write songs anymore. Songs are love letters that carry the thoughts that you can’t express verbally. If I am able to speak out “I want to marry you. Let’s be together ever after. Let me look after you”etc, I would have got married by now, perhaps. I could even be divorced. (laugh). The partner (hypothetic wife) might say “I married you because of what you said before. How come it hasn’t come true at all!?” As a result of that, she couldn’t stand it anymore.
That’s why, as a person who can’t speak out love words, I want to keep this integrity and only use songs to deliver my thoughts about someone. That’s what this is all about. Excuse me, everyone! (laugh). .
For me, I am not able to turn moments of blessing into songs. Rather, in order to let go some of the regrets that have sunk deep down into my heart, I am like writing songs in a confessional. When I was writing Hatsukoi (the latest single), it was really tough! This is not a sweet song. It was really harsh and unbearable!
Perhaps it is rude to my first love if I say this: my first love (affair) wasn’t all that beautiful….but she was very pretty though! (laugh)
When I was young, I didn’t really know how to love. I don’t quite know even now! Before I thought that it was all my fault (that we split up). Now when I look back, it probably wasn’t the case. I now think it was caused mutually, by both of us.
The type of woman one wants to be with could vary greatly over time, depending on the circumstances.
Ryoma-san was very active spiritually during his last 5 years (age 28-33). I think the types of woman that would suit him and not suit him could be easily distinguished. According to historical information, Ryoma’s wife, O-Ryou-san, had an eccentric personality in the eyes of others. After Ryoma’s passing away, she left the Sakamoto family despite other people’s bad comments. Her deicison is understandable though, I think.
Considering someone in his 30s, what sort of woman he would like to be with, given that he is very active? I think it would be the same in a woman’s case. She would probably want someone energetic as well.
In the light of this, if Ryoma wasn’t assassinated, would he still want to be with O-Ryou-san in his 40s or 50s? Depending on the circumstances, the type of woman that one wants to be with could vary greatly over time,
Of course, it doesn’t matter at what age, being in love is a necessity.
For my current situation, if I pair up with someone who is just like me, it would be really hard! (laugh) On the other hand, a girl who is a bit muddled would suit me better now. When I am tired, it is better to be with someone whom I can get along with in a relaxing way.
Reform (維新 Ishin)
The only “reform” that I have ever had is moving to Tokyo. If I didn’t do so when I was 18, I probably would have stayed in my hometown all the way. It doesn’t mean that I had a very big vision though. I wanted to form a band but there was no hurry to find band members. That was how I felt then. However I became more desperate when my housemate was spotted by a talent scout. Then, when I heard about an audition for a movie announced on TV, I thought to myself “maybe I should give it a go.” This has opened the door for me to the industry. After joining my agency (Amuse), I thought if I told them that “no~~ I want to play music instead”, something should happen. You see, I really thought like a villager!! It is like buttoning up the wrong holes on your shirt.
I had never thought that I would act in Taiga Drama. This role is so different from Mr Galileo and Chii-ni-chan (Hitotsu Yane no Shita) (laugh). When they asked me to take up the role, of course I started to think about it. It is like, when someone tells me that she likes me, I will start paying attention to her (laugh).
In Japan, only one person would receive this invitation for each year. That is nothing more honourable than this, I think. Although I was not sure whether I was able to do it, the fact that I got the invitation could be seen as a kind of fate where me and Taiga “met”. I wanted to consider it at this level.
Well, someone like me….how do I say it?? I wasn’t the type who felt that there was no way out, then thought very hard about what I should do and then just turn into who I am now. I think Ryoma san was the same, though. He wouldn’t had thought of turning himself into the Sakamoto Ryoma that everyone know nowadays at the very beginning. He just went one step at one time with his vision and then gradually turned into the iconic “Sakamoto Ryoma”. I think most people are like that too. Even if you want to become a certain type of person, you would always end up turning into someone different at the end.
I think those who progress with the Zeitgeist are happier. This would be the same in future. There is nothing better than “just go with the flow and you will still get fed” (laugh). Set targets and work towards them. Challenge yourself with things that interest you. This is the basic attitude that I recommend. I know it sounds like the weathervane. However, there is a real need to see where is the wind is blowing to, social trends and so on. Most important of all, is how you adapt to this change. For example, during the Meiji period, Iwasaki Yataro successfully seized the opportunity and established the foundation for Mitsubishi, in which the company carries on til now. Recently there has been an IT revolution which generates “Hillzoku” (people who live in Roppongi Hills). This is a wave generated by the Zeitgeist as well.
The Zeitgeist sometimes produces things that only lasts a short while. Whether the timing is right is the key to your success afterwards. On the other hand, there are examples where people live their lives totally disregarding the trend and are still happy.
If you ask me which type I am, I would say those who progress with the Zeitgeist are happier people. In that context, what I choose to do will depend on the Zeitgeist too. Music, acting and radio broadcasting all have their own meanings. If I can understand them at depth, they would influence my philosophy and aesthetics about life.
I am a bit of a “perve” who want to try out many different things (laugh). When I say this, it feels like I have let go myself. I am not sure what type of person I am, all along. Perhaps I am now watching myself objectively, with interest: “from now on, what would this person do? What job will he take up and what sort of know-how will he be bringing into these jobs?”
~ The End ~
Special thanks to my husband for assistance on difficult vocabulary and proofreading.
~ Translated by xiaoxin and reproduced here with permission. ~
Translated from the Chinese version in Fukuyama Honne (Articles 7372 and 7510)
The first part of this English translation was posted on MashaPlus [dot] Info Forums. (Site currently under reconstruction.)